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KrazyAMANDA
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Name: Amanda
Birthday: 10/21/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: cosplay, art, cooking, food, ace attorney, wit, intelligence
Expertise: getting annoyed, criticizing, sleeping, wasting time
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
11/2/2003
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| this only a documentation. i have no expectations. the fact is that he asked for me to start telling him exactly when i'm upset from the start, and now i am- and it's not helping me feel better when i'm mainly upset and disappointed in how he is, and not what was done. i only wish things will get better, but how can i believe that at the rate at which things are going? i convinced myself that things would get better before we lived closer together, and now that we're physically closer- there is NO improvement. i'm too disappointed for words. i wish i were happy again. | | |
| not saying that it'll happen anytime soon, but breakups always make me sad i've never cried so much in my life before (a close second is when i watched "my lucky star" the taiwanese drama -__-) | | |
| i'm back again and of course it's because something is yet again wrong. without fail, xanga is always here for me in my darkest moments. i feel like i'm losing myself, and my biggest fear of all is to lose myself. my self image, pride, dignity, identity- i feel like i'm not being myself lately. i feel like i can't be myself, can't even do what i want- in order to make him happy. i don't think it should be this way, but i don't want to let go yet. one of the biggest issues i've talked to him about before already on several occasions; each of which did not end in my favor, but in the end i had to yield just because i wanted to sleep. i noticed that i'm much less happy than i was before. i feel lonely even and most stressed; most pained than ever. i want my old life back. i was never like this before. this is the hardest relationship to try make work, that i wished would work, but i don't know if it will. i miss everything. i need a good talk. | | |
| oh yeah- it's over and i'm SO content in my resentment and utter disgust in him hahahah
it embarrasses me that i wasted so much effort and my feelings on him.
he does not deserve me in his life, and it comforts me to stand by this principle.
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i forgot to put this in last time but here it is
NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER AGAIN!!!
i love erasing stupid fucks from my life :) | | |
| i had no idea what i've gotten myself into until it's gotten too deep.
i've been put into a situation i wish i were not in.
i really can't believe how blindly selfish he is, and it kills me.
i don't know what to do. | | |
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